That's Some Kind of Love
by Elfian Aqua
Summary: A one shot crackfic in which Xelloss loves Amelia, Amelia desires Zelgadiss, and Zelgadiss longs for a laid-back lifestyle.


Disclaimer - I don't own the Slayers characters.

* * *

**That's Some Kind of Love**

Xelloss never could be sure if Amelia really hated him. She said she hated him. He could feel hate for him emanating from her, which he gladly feasted upon. And then there were those assassins who claimed they'd been hired by the Princess of Seyruun to kill him.

Still, he was pretty sure she didn't hate him.

Almost certain of her love for him, Xelloss stared down at the object of his thoughts. She sat on a picnic blanket below. Both she and her chimera companion, seemingly unaware of his presence on the branch above their heads, chatted merrily and ate their lunch.

"Amelia, I'm going to find my cure one day," Zelgadiss said.

"I know, Mister Zelgadiss," Amelia responded.

"And when I do, I'm going to come back to you."

"I know, Mister Zelgadiss."

"But until then, let's enjoy this picnic." And Zelgadiss picked up a bite sized cucumber sandwich and popped it in his mouth. The sandwiches looked awfully good, and Xelloss was tempted to swoop down and snatch one.

"I'm glad you found the time to come visit me this week," Amelia said, giving the chimera at her side a pleasant smile. "I know how important your cure is to you."

Zelgadiss stared solemnly at the landscape, his mouth set. "My cure is very important," he agreed. "But Amelia," he faced her, and his eyes burned with a passion that made Xelloss uneasy, "you're much more important."

Xelloss frowned. Why would Zelgadiss say something like that? He…he didn't like Amelia. Did he?

"Oh Mister Zelgadiss," Amelia squealed.

_Oh no_, Xelloss thought.

* * *

Xelloss waited until Amelia and Zelgadiss had parted ways to approach the chimera. "Zelgadiss?"

The chimera gave him a look that seemed to say, _Drop dead_. What he said was, "What do you want?"

Suddenly shy, Xelloss' stare fell to the ground. He dug the toe of his shoe into the dirt path and twittered, "Um, well, I was wondering if you...that is…"

"Spit it out!"

He shut his eyes and held clenched fists at his sides. "Do you like Amelia?" The question came out as a shout and echoed in the air.

"Like her?" Xelloss peeked open an eye and glanced at Zelgadiss' smirking face. "I can't stand her." And then Zelgadiss laughed.

"Well that's good." He laughed with Zelgadiss. "I was starting to think you wanted to _marry_ her or something."

Zelgadiss stopped laughing. "I do."

Xelloss laughed even harder. "I was—What?"

"Oh come on. Don't act so surprised. Look at her, she's loaded."

"What's that got to do with marrying her?"

"Everything. When I find my cure, what do you expect me to do? Get a job? Heck no! I'm gonna marry that girl and live the comfortable life I was meant to have."

Xelloss frowned and raised his staff, preparing to attack. "I'm afraid I can't let that happen, Zelgadiss. Amelia deserves true happiness."

The chimera snorted. "Yeah? And you think that happiness is with you?"

Xelloss' face warmed. He lowered his staff and nervously twisted it back and forth. "Wha-what are you saying?"

"We all know you like her, so don't even try to deny it. But don't try to act on those feelings either, because Amelia can't stand you."

"That's a lie! Amelia loves everyone."

Seemingly sympathetic, Zelgadiss shook his head. "Still clinging to that ideal image you have of her? Tch. Listen Xelloss, Amelia is no better than you or me."

"How's that?"

"For one, she doesn't love me like she says she does. She only wants me for my body."

For his body? Xelloss doubtfully scanned Zelgadiss' stony exterior. There was no way Amelia could desire something like that. And besides…"That doesn't make sense. If she wants you for you're body, which is a chimera's body now, then how do you plan on marrying her when you become human?"

Zelgaidss sputtered unintelligible words. Then he angrily raised a fist. "Shut up!"

* * *

"Oh my gosh! Xelloss who did this to you?" Gingerly, Amelia felt Xelloss' black eye.

Xelloss smiled down at her, touched by her affection. He didn't care what Zelgadiss said, Amelia was caring and loving as her room was pink-ishly annoying. He closed his gloved hand over her bare one, pressing the tips of her fingers more firmly against his warming skin. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine." His voice was husky.

Amelia shook her head and forcefully snatched her hand away. "No, you need to tell me who did this. I want to reward whoever's responsible."

Xelloss smiled. "Oh Amelia, you slay me."

"I wish," Amelia muttered.

How he loved her. "Amelia I have something important to tell you."

"I don't care that you love me, Mister Xelloss."

"Oh, it's not that. It's about Zelgadiss."

She snatched his collar and shook him. "Is something wrong with him? Tell me!" The backs of her fingers brushed his skin, and he sighed pleasantly. With a look that closely resembled disgust, Amelia released him.

"No, he's doing relatively well. But that's not the point. He's using you Amelia!"

Amelia blinked. "Is that all? Of course he is. He just wants me for my money."

Xelloss couldn't believe his ears. "You know? And you're fine with that?"

"Of course. After all, I'm also using him." She turned and waved her hand at him dismissively. "I just want him for his body."

"But…what…that…"

-

**The**

**End**


End file.
